Wednesday 20/05/2026
Photo: Katarina Wolnik Vera
Text: Toni Galindo
Beyond Symptoms
When someone has lived a traumatic experience, it is common to focus on the symptoms: fear, anxiety, and flashbacks. Have you ever felt that talking only about those symptoms does not capture what was truly broken inside? The truth is that trauma is not just a set of symptoms to be eliminated, but a wound that unfolds in the body, in emotions, and especially in the way of bonding with others.
Relational trauma—especially when the wound comes from close relationships—profoundly affects how we experience trust. Two people may share the same diagnostic label of post-traumatic stress disorder, but one might feel safe with a compassionate therapist while another trembles with fear at any closeness. Recovering with support is not the same as doing it alone. The fundamental difference is that the trauma was formed in relationships, and therefore recovery must also unfold through them.
In reality, the change of the nervous system, the basis of all recovery, occurs when the body repeatedly experiences that closeness does not inevitably lead to harm. It is not just about intellectually understanding what happened, but about the nervous system being able to feel it. For this reason, therapy cannot be only technical; it must be reparative.
Reconstruction as a Slow and Gracual Process
Rebuilding bonds after trauma is not a quick process, and it is certainly not linear. It often involves setbacks, days when trust seems to crumble again. But each small experience of safety—a promise kept, a rupture recognized and repaired, a word of containment when fear rises—writes a new story in the body.
Therapeutic work focuses on the person being able to feel like a secure base: someone who is there, consistently, who can tolerate uncomfortable silences, and who does not abandon when the deepest emotions emerge. It is not about waiting for a perfect therapist, but about experiencing someone close enough, consistent enough, and committed enough so that the relationship itself becomes a healing experience.
Additionally, the reconstruction of trust is worked on in small, deliberate steps. Learning to ask for help with trusted individuals, establishing clear boundaries, and recognizing when someone is reliable are skills that are developed bit by bit. There is no need to rush; the important thing is that each person can choose the pace.
Trusting Without Losing Oneself Along the Way
One of the greatest paradoxes after trauma is this: one wants to trust, but there is a deep fear of being hurt again. These questions are not paranoia; they are the prudent voice of someone who has already learned that closeness can hurt.
Trusting without losing oneself means being able to recognize the signals of safety: reliability, responsibility, genuine empathy, and congruence between what someone says and what they do. It also means being able to say “no” without guilt, being able to move away from those who do not deserve that trust, and maintaining one’s own integrity while opening the door to new bonds.
The essential thing is that recovery from trauma is not simply “getting over it,” but learning to live more fully, to reconnect with oneself, and to rebuild trust from a position of greater wisdom. It is not returning to the starting point as if nothing had occurred; it is advancing from where one is, integrating the experience.
It is a process of understanding and accompaniment, where the important thing is not only to identify the damage, but to understand the story behind it and recover the capacity to choose with greater consciousness. Trauma is not a diagnosis that defines who you are, but an experience that you have lived and from which you can heal. Seeing the reconstruction of bonds as a starting point, not a destination, is to open the possibility of a future where trust becomes possible again.
References:
- Bowlby, J. (1989). Una base segura: aplicaciones clínicas de la teoría del apego. Paidós Ibérica.
Formación Psicoterapia. Seguridad emocional en trauma complejo: guía para clínicos. https://formacionpsicoterapia.com/blog-psicoterapia/seguridad-emocional-trauma-complejo/ - Muller, R. (2020). El trauma y la lucha por abrirse. De la evitación a la recuperación y el crecimiento. Desclée de Brouwer.
- Ogden, P. y Fisher, J. (2016). Psicoterapia sensorio-motriz. Asociación Española del Trauma Psicológico.
- STAIR/STAIR-Narrative Therapy. Pautas de tratamiento para trauma complejo con enfoque en regulación emocional e interpersonal. VA/DoD 2023.