Wednesday 12/03/2025
PHOTO: Katarina Wolnik Vera
TEXT: Lucia Giral Vidal-Quadras
“If I don’t do it perfectly, it’s not worth it.”
“There’s always someone better than me.”
“I can’t make mistakes.”
If these phrases sound familiar, it’s possible that perfectionism has more control over your life than you think. For years, we’ve learned to associate perfectionism with excellence, success, and discipline. But science tells us something very different: the obsession with doing everything perfectly not only moves us away from well-being, but it is also contributing to the rise of anxiety, depression, and eating disorders in today’s society.
Causes of perfectionism and its increase today.
A recent study has shown that perfectionism has significantly increased in the last few decades, and this phenomenon is linked to an increase in anxiety and depression.
But why is this happening?
- Social media and constant comparison: We are exposed 24/7 to images of unattainable success. “Perfect” bodies, flawless careers, movie-like relationships… What was once only seen in magazines is now consumed every minute on Instagram or TikTok.
- High academic and work standards: The pressure to stand out in school, university, and work leads many people to live under a constant state of pressure and demand.
- Productivity culture: Messages like “be your best version” or “effort is always rewarded” can be motivating, but when taken to the extreme, they can become a trap that makes us feel inadequate.
The dimensions and consequences of perfectionism
Frost et al. (1990) refers to six dimensions of perfectionism detailed below:
- Concern about making mistakes: Refers to the extreme negative reaction to mistakes and the tendency to interpret them as personal failures. It’s associated with a “black-and-white” thinking pattern where any failure invalidates success. It is linked to anxiety, depression, and unhealthy self-demand.
- High personal standards: This dimension involves setting high goals and striving to achieve them. It can be a positive trait when combined with flexible self-evaluation. When accompanied by extreme self-criticism, it can lead to frustration and low self-esteem.
- Parental expectations: Refers to the perception that parents have very high expectations that must be met. It can generate pressure and fear of failure, leading to anxiety and dependence on external validation.
- Parental criticism: A feeling that parents are excessively critical and hard to please. It can lead to a negative self-image and the belief that personal value depends on performance.
- Doubts about actions: Based on a lack of confidence in the quality of one’s work. It relates to procrastination and the feeling that it’s never enough, which can cause decision-making blockages.
- Organization: Involves focusing on structure, order, and planning. It can be a positive trait if it contributes to efficiency, but in excess, it can generate rigidity and anxiety about control.
Adaptive vs. maladaptive perfectionism
Some dimensions of perfectionism can be beneficial, while others can generate anxiety, stress, and extreme self-criticism.
✅ Adaptive perfectionism: Focuses on personal growth, healthy effort, and the desire to improve without compromising self-esteem. It includes:
- High personal standards: Foster motivation and personal growth without falling into extreme self-demand.
- Organization: Facilitates planning and efficiency without generating excessive rigidity or anxiety.
❌ Maladaptive perfectionism: Is based on extreme self-criticism, fear of mistakes, and the belief that personal value depends on performance or the approval of others. It includes:
- Concern about making mistakes: Provokes anxiety, fear of failure, and unhealthy self-demand.
- Parental expectations: If perceived as unattainable, they generate insecurity and dependence on external validation.
- Parental criticism: Associated with a negative self-image and the belief that personal value depends on performance.
- Doubts about actions: Linked to procrastination and a constant feeling of inadequacy.
Maladaptive perfectionism has been identified as a key factor in the development and maintenance of eating disorders (ED). Various studies have shown that perfectionism, especially when based on fear of failure and unattainable standards, increases vulnerability to disorders like anorexia nervosa and bulimia. Research has found that people with high levels of perfectionism are more likely to develop extreme control patterns over their eating and their bodies, constantly trying to meet an unattainable physical ideal (Smith et al., 2020).
Symptoms of perfectionism: How does it affect your mental health?
✔ Extreme anxiety about making mistakes.
✔ Procrastinating for fear of not doing it perfectly.
✔ Difficulty enjoying accomplishments because “it’s never enough.”
✔ Constant feelings of inadequacy, even when others validate your efforts.
✔ Excessive need for control, especially over your body, food, or academic/work performance.
Perfectionism is often seen as an admirable trait, but when it becomes an obsession, it can rob the meaning from our lives. The good news is that it can be worked on! Learning to let go of extreme demands doesn’t mean giving up or settling for less—it means allowing yourself to be human.
References
Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological Bulletin, 145(4), 410–429.
Frost, R. O., Marten, P., Lahart, C., & Rosenblate, R. (1990). “The dimensions of perfectionism.” Cognitive Therapy and Research, 14(5), 449-468.
Smith, M. M., Sherry, S. B., Saklofske, D. H., Mushquash, A. R., & Flett, G. L. (2020). Perfectionism and health: A meta‐analytic review of psychosocial, cardiovascular, and immune system outcomes. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 24(4), 357–390.